I go home, questioning my disappointment, wondering why I feel so swirly inside. I’m not sure why you had your reaction to the gay club - but I have some ideas.

Maybe you had a vision of what that night would be like and were disappointed by the reality. After all, you’d been waiting for this experience for so long. Sure, the pandemic and age restrictions, but you’ve probably been waiting even longer. Before we even know the words to describe ourselves, a lot of queer people are searching for a place where we belong. When we find that personal language, gay clubs are presented to us as one such place. They are essential to our history, centered in our media, a staple of our culture. They’re supposed to be the answer to a life of otherness. The realization that they’re just a place like any place can be disappointing. I’m almost a year into my transition and my girlfriend and I have successfully changed our relationship from heterosexual to super gay.